You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize