are you still at the devil's house?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize