somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
