I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Drake has all the answers
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
