Can i not drive my cunt home
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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