I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
