Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
