There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize