You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
