i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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