my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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