just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
