There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
