just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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