you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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