i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
