PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
