I will die if light touches me.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
