You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize