Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
