Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
