so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
