Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
