I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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