Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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