she smelled like a LAN party
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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