hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
