I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
