Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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