I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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