i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
