why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
