just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
