It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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