I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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