her vagine was all disorganized.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
