he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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