Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize