My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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