R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
