Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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