This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
