so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
