Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
