He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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