she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
