Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
