Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
