based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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