there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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