So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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