She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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