I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The Olympian is in my bed
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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