The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
