Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
