he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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