I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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