I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
