I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
